It’s only been the first week of December as I’m writing this (published as of a day later), and while toiling away at getting past my writer’s bloc in addition to some sulking over what this year has meant for me, I honestly don’t immediately know what to say… it’s been, well… it’s been that kind of year.
Between my own yearlong doctors’ appointments, and having to attend both of the facilities periodically in which my father has been staying after nearly losing his life twice as of late August, “rough” doesn’t exactly describe how things have been for my family and me. I wish I could word it better without going into a full-on, paragraph-long run-on meltdown-of-a-sentence – which is what I did during this draft before revising – but the anger is too immediate for me. The pain, the angst, the disappointment… it becomes a lot to try and break down for this particular article entry, and if only for the fact that my mother and I are still processing and enduring it all to this day while working (to this day) to see to it that my father’s needs are met, without fail or folly on the part of those who are, in actuality, paid employees…
I tell you, the last three months have been an eye-opener for me when it comes to the Healthcare system. I’ll save the details of my thoughts on this for a possible social media post or a private conversation with a friend at some point, but I can earnestly describe the second half of 2022 as being something way far different than the first half. By April, I was dealing with a lot of the usual B.S. that comes with being an independent film blogger, whilst enjoying some of its perks. I took the rare opportunity to attend a friend’s screening of a short film, and I got to meet and greet two Australian film creatives upon their visit here to New York City. Intermittently, of course, was the test of my mettle in dealing with the whims and malfeasance of at least one filmmaker who I once collaborated with and even called a friend until as early as April, and if you know the sordid details of that whole fiasco, then, well, you know, and for that matter, it couldn’t be stated more clearly and agreeably that my time and resources are better spent elsewhere.
Alas, even now when I don’t make the kind of income folks like myself make on a professional level, as I need to, honestly, I am still able to support myself to some small degree, while applying myself on a platform that I’ve spent now close to more than a decade since launching it on Facebook back in September 2012. What’s more is that I have a small group of people who, while not always the first to hit the dashboard as often as me, still take an interest in writing from time to time, which I am truly thankful for, as well as the subjects I frequent on Film Combat Syndicate, several whom I am proud to address as friends.
I’m especially grateful for Christina Ortega who has had to cope with her own personal hurdles and life transitions to be where she is today, and still very much the biggest part of my platform even when she’s not around for most of the journey; for Matthew Essary, who is provably the biggest voice on Twitter in my group and between circles of mutuals, and who finally managed to be the one to get a friggin’ Scott Adkins interview on our site, as well as bringing aboard Patrick Bartlett as a willing contributor; for Edward Orndorff and the work he provides as one of the more knowledgeable in the field of anime and Showa-era Japanese entertainment; for Vance Ang, Mike Garcia and Joe Hallett, and their undying enthusiasm for film fandom and influential figures in both the entertainment, martial arts fandom and health industries; for Harris Dang, who kindly graced our site a few times this year with some of his astute work as a critic and writer; and for Eileen Cruz who continues to be the backbone of my site in its daily evolution.
Of course, my list of credits extend even further: For Maria Tran and Takashi Hara for welcoming me with open arms earlier this year; for Jon Truei keeping me in the loop and having my best interests at heart; for Art School Dropouts and its Director Senpai, Joey Min, for remaining as a constant in my social circles and certainly being progressively good at what they do; for ASDO’s Stephanie Pham for literally being one of the best people in my life at a distance; for Robert Samuels and Robert Jefferson; for actor Victor William Chan, for Jean-Paul Ly, for Preston and Candice of The Movie Dojo; for Joey Ansah; for The Paper Tigers producer Al’n Duong; for Samuel Delitans Lee for often checking in on me regarding my father and always sending me his best energy, and for Rayve Tay for doing the same, and whom I can’t give enough credit for doing his best to recuperate and recover from the hardship he has been enduring of late; for Nick Khan, and the laughs; for Josh Hurtado of Variance Films for keeping me in mind back in October ahead of the NYC screening of RRR even though unfortunately I couldn’t make it; for Screen Anarchy’s Ard Vijn for sharing his time and friendship; for directors Kensuke Sonomura, Lee Whittaker, Andre Sigwalt and Ramin Sohrab and their confidence in me and my close coverage of their work; for Prashen Kyawal for alerting me of director Chhatrapal Ninawe’s struggle to get justice for his long-delayed film, Ghaath; for all the tenacious and hardworking PR agents and firms who’ve sent me films to cover, and granted me various festival credentials once again this year (and I hope to do it all again in 2023)…
For my friends Denise out in Philadelphia, Windy out in Kentucky, Meaghan, Cheryl, Laura and Ricky here in NYC, and Irina out in Connecticut, Anthony in Florida, Martin in the UK; for the tenacious wound care specialists at TJH who have spent the better part of the past year since March treating my legs on a weekly/bi-weekly basis, and the good folks at the G.I. clinic on Queens Boulevard and at the offices of Dr. Azeem Khan; for the few GOOD medical and nursing professionals out there who have to trudge through the inadequacies of a field of profession comprised of folks who really should stop giving THEM a bad name; for Latima, and her youngest son Malik, and the smiles they bring to my face when I see them in passing;…
…for mom and dad, the biggest living heroes I know…
To every single individual with whom I’ve interacted, friend or not, for helping me continue to shape myself into something and someone better, you’ve made a mark on my 2022. I only hope that the lessons that I’ve learned or re-learned and the experiences I’ve gained through the investments I make in people will help me and others along the way. To that effect, and provided that my father’s health improves, I look forward to reconvening with as many friends as possible this year, in addition to seeing some of the films I’m currently anticipating.
Moreover, I hope the people in my group will be able to grow and evolve as contributors to my site for as long as they see fit. One of the only regrets I have is that I won’t be able to observe this growth on a social media platform that’s currently run by someone whose management skills leave more than a lot to be desired. It sucks also because I focused a good deal of my efforts on that platform in the last several years more than ever before.
Similarly, however, I’d like to think I’m in a better place, creatively. Twitter has sadly turned into an even shittier shithole shadow of its former self, whereas “Film Twitter” has been descending further and further into the kind of entropy that I just don’t have the energy or enthusiasm for. I came across it multiple times on Facebook and out of all the times I experienced it, only once, when I became the target of such unwarranted vitriol at the expense of a lackadaisical group admin, was enough for me to decide that, as I so stated earlier… my time and resources are better spent elsewhere.
I’m still on Instagram and you can even follow me on Telegram if you’re willing. Thank you to each and every one of you, past and present for your kindness, friendship and support, for the life-changing and educational growth, amounting to a yearly list of reasons for me to be thankful, to keep going, and above all else, to fight for the ones you love. Past the pain, past the heartache and despair, past the seemingly unending feeling of hopelessness, past the darkness of it all. Thank you for seeing the light there for me when at times I almost couldn’t…
Thank you for investing in me as I have you, and if you’re just tuning into, well, me, and you’ve managed to get this far, I thank you as well. See you in ’23. Be careful out there, and don’t take the bait…
And now, the outro!
Click here for last year’s entry, and for any entries prior, feel free to ask.
