Your Next Viewing: PAINTBALL MASSACRE Massacres With Gory Delight

Some people remember high school as a great time: Maybe they peaked in high school or were just lucky enough to have fit in and not be picked on. Some people had the opposite experience, and still some were somewhere in-between. Yet any number of people in the latter of these categories will still subject themselves to a high school reunion.

Reunions are supposed to be these milestone events that you just have to go to, and they are supposed to be such a great time. I myself have fantasized creating some impressive persona a la Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion or giving myself some kind of epic makeover and having one of those classic slow walking down the stairs moments à la She’s All That. Is that just me?

What about a more sinister type of reunion experience where you can make the people who made you suffer in high school finally pay? Yeah, I can see you nodding your head. If that appeals to you, you have to pick yourself up a copy of Paintball Massacre.

Written by Chris Regan and directed by Darren Berry, Paintball Massacre is produced by Brendan Carr and Joe Hallett, both of whom also star in the film. I’ve had my eye on this film since we first announced the trailer and was lucky enough to view it this week before its release date. So why should you watch it?

It starts off the way any reunion should: Showing how reunions have become events of obligation and some of the people who show up really just don’t want to be there. We get to meet the attendees and learn who they are now, although from the way they act, I doubt they’ve changed much from high school. After too much drinking one night, the gang moves on to a game of paintball. Now that would be fun; let me shoot tiny pellets of paint at people whom I didn’t like but am now forced to hang out with.

However, for these unfortunate reunioners, someone is seriously pissed off at them and starts to off them one by one. But before they die, their banter and relationships will pull you in so that even though they are not the most likable people, you have to know what happens next. The story moves along well, full of chuckles and campy goriness that will warm the cockles of your black heart and make you want a sequel.

Besides the gory and personalized revenge, the film is really well written. I especially liked the different characters and felt the character types and their conversations were realistic. I understand that people have to die in a horror movie, and being jerks, they all had bad things coming to them, but I was a little pissed to see them die. They were not the best of people, but they were all entertaining. I would’ve loved to have a beer with these assholes, and I say that term in the nicest way possible.

Besides the pacing, characters, and dialogue, I also thought the soundtrack was fitting. You can’t have an action horror comedy with a lame soundtrack!

I had my eye on this film for so long, I was worried that I had built it up too much in my mind, but Regan’s writing skills and the rest of the crew did not disappoint.

Paintball Massacre is now available.

Christina Ortega

Writer, bookworm, geek in too many fandoms to name, Indianapolis Colts and Chicago White Sox fan.